The true shitty MVP of a microblog. Wanna reply? Write me an email.
Working from home is lovely because I could flop down on the couch and nap right after I clocked out, but now I still have an hour to get something done and I'm just not in the mood to do anything.
AI chat window: "Thinking..." Bitch, it's not thinking, it's running a weird, unintelligible neural network soup that we only have a tangential control over. This is the 21th century equivalent of prayer.
So I'm learning how to use AI agents in VS Code now. I'm not happy with myself.
Morning status: I'm so tired...
After a long time thinking about it and then slowly making progress, I finally succeeded in printing some of my paintings as stickers at the local photo printing shop. And... I feel meh. Frustrating. Where's my dopamine?
Mmmmm, time for a spot of thrash metal. An office neighbor is whining about self-taught programmers. "Why doesn't she go back to college?" Because of course it's a she. The lady dared to apply for a Junior position after taking a couple of Python courses during her maternity leave. How dare she expect to be taught things on the job! While being paid!
Fun fact, the guy is my former team lead, who hired me - a self-taught programmer. No idea how that tracks for him.
I've been in the office building five minutes and I've already Lost(tm) 3+ social interactions. I would like to not care about this, please. Self, it's perfectly normal for interactions to be slightly awkward. It's fine. You're alright.
I had a thought and I lost it. Since I already typed out the timestamp... no, I have nothing to say.
Cats are fed. Fish and shrimp are fed. I am fed. Somehow I still have all the morning routine steps left. It's not difficult to see qhy I keep reaching for comfort activities instead.
Day three of "no naps". I slept badly. Not sure if it's the kitten's fault or not: it felt like stress dreams, but I heard/felt her puttering around me whenever I'd wake up.Now, do I try to get to work super early, or do I use the time for some art?
I ironed the last two duvet covers *and* changed the bedsheets! Only, now my spoons are spent and I'm sitting in the kitchen browsing a fabric e-shop catalog, because taking a shower is Too Much.
Love it when a package gets delivered to some random shop instead of my chosen delivery box. I don't even know if the place is open today...
I had a nice convo with coworkers about rail transport. I think. Yay?
You know what I believe the reason is, that so many people (like me) are drawn yo self-diagnose as ADHD or autistic? It's because the label we'd get get otherwise is "nervous", or "neurotic". A personality trait, and a *bad* one: you're worse than others and *there is nothing you can do about it*. You just suck. The end. With ADHD or autism, there's advocacy, you're still a valid person, you're just struggling.
Welp. That was a very productive hour of... scrolling Pinterest.
I want to eat: hazelnut cocoa puffs with milk. I need to eat: the fresh cheese, rubbery radish, other mystery contents of my fridge about to go off. Being an adult is hard.
Good morning. It's six fucking am. I have not gone back to bed. I have folded a barely perceptible amount of my permanent pile of clean laundry. I need to hang more laundry, wash my hair, clean cat litter boxes, feed the fish, feed myself, and leave for work. That is too many steps.
I finished planning the tasks for the week. And immediately found that I need to do one a day earlier and forgot another one entirely. I'm gonna cry.
Status: researching how to actually code using AI, because my AI-brain-rotted team psyched me out and I'm not losing this job, even if it means getting rawdogged by the actual devil (= what working with AI feels like, knowing how it is ruining so many parts of my world).
Oh noooo, I was tagging my old Jaime Reyes Blue Beetle comics, went to look up if DC is doing anything with the character these days, and there is a new series but they retconned Khaji Da out of existence??? That was half of the appeal of the series! Baby alien parasite learning to be good and helping to save Earth... oh well. Not the first change I'm going to ignore (yes, Barbara is still Oracle and in a wheelchair to me.
...false alarm, it was delicious.
Fuck off, how is it almost six?! I have an hour, and then I feed the cats and start my bedtime routine. Because unless I give myself two hours I will not be asleep in time.
I bought myself a větrník but I was reading Hunger Habit during my commute and now I feel guilty and not in the mood. What a waste.
Remembered this one band I wanted to check out after seeing a sticker on a street lamp, Hemlock. Not bad! Your average shouty metal Wikipedia informs me they're thrash metal and/or groove metal. Oh well. I like some good roaring when I'm in the mood, but I'm no good at identifying the flavors. This one scratches the itch pretty nicely, though. I wish I could tell the random sticker-dealer! I bet they'd be excited that it worked.
Currently listening to: Emillio Villalba and various of his projects. Sephardica is the one I'm obsessed with, but right now I have on Soñando Al-Andalus (authored as Emillio Villalba & Mediterránea) and it's also lovely.
Stop browsing the featured pages, Crow. This site doesn't fit, and that's *fine*. You're fine. I bought a ridiculously tiny stapler and I have a hot tea, I'm fine.
I can be as negative as I want here.
I really don't deal well with this one coworker's communication patterns. He's just... always tee-heeing. But like, all the time. You know this coy, "hee hee, everything is fine, but actually" kind of thing? That. Jesus. It's a speech pattern, for all I know it might be anxiety, but I grew up with a mom who says things as jokes but actually means them so all that tee-heeing makes me want to bite his head off.
jfc, the guys are drooling over AI agents again. "I had Claude buy me groceries, it was great! It bought 15 packets of spaghetti!" Then they moved to... fully-automated kitchens run by AI and stocked by drones? Kill me now - wait, don't, someone needs to keep complaining about this or these goons will ruin the world for real.
Am I adding this instead of working? No comment. Nicer than typing it on the phone, but I'm happy to report that it's been pretty easy to type all the previous entries on the phone so I really can toss my inane thoughts here instead of social media.
Made it to work, forgot my shitty pre-made lunch, already had to interact with the guy whose probably-autism is 100% incompatible with whatever I have (he's nice, but oh god why), and this dress is more worn out than I remwmbered.
Thw weather is nice, tho. At least I get a blue sky.
Femme mode activated, someone give me a medal. I don't actually hate dressing femme. It looks good! I just feel like everyone's looking at me, judging me. Why don't you wear this all the time? Why do you dress like a guy? Are you just lazy? What are you?
I'm a queer, Karen.
Looks like I'm wearing a dress. This sure is a Monday. Aren't you glad you got out of bed early for this?
Okay self. You need more than three pairs of pants. This is a crisis. (I have more pants. They're not normal pants. They're hiking pants, or theater pants, or garden pants, or sweatpants. They're not *pants*.)
Feeding the fish with the cats is a challenge. Don't eat the fish food. Don't eat the Salvinia. Get off the tank lid. Get off me. Stop.
I'm trying to break the habit of going back to bed after feeding the cats. It's freaking hard. I don't have an easily internalized reason (I just want to have more free time to do things) and so it's really hard to fight thw combined powers of "but I'm comfy" and "I'm terrified I'll get tired later and won't be able to take a nap.". Brains suck.